.Monday, November 5, 2007 ' 6:31 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
darling,
what's actually wrong with you? you seems to change after the chalet. :( i really scared you'll leave and fade away from me. sigh. i tried my best to give you everything you requested. i felt that i had really spend more time with you than my friends le. but how come you still dont feel it? :( or maybe that's not really what you want & not enough for you. sigh. i did my best to stay this relationship. i know you did too. both parties did the best le. but still, one of them still have to make way. && we also sacrificed to stay together. these 9 months, both of us had bitterness, happiness, sadness, sacrificed, etc. more till uncountable. that's why we're able to stay till so long. obstacles and obstacles come in and go. it's like continuous seh. hope that we're able to overcome it. then our love will get strong. hope so...
sometimes i dont know the reason why we quarrel. is like abit confusing lah. i dont know how long we'll be able to stay together. i can't bear to leave you, and you too. but one of us might change heart or get tired of one another and say byebye & just leave. if not, the reason to leave maybe cos of some problems then forced to leave. if this happened on me, i guess i'll still love you but not saying out to anyone. act as if i dont like you anymore. & let you give up me :( sigh. what a bad scene and incident. i dont have the right to hold onto you, tieing you to me forever, pulling you along with me, cos you're not my hubby any longer. but in my heart, i'll still be scared that you'll change heart, scared of many many things.
i dont regret being with you. never had i thought of that. i admit sometimes when we quarrel seriously, i'll think of letting you go. so that both of us won't be hurt any longer. but that thinking is just temporily and awhile. after that, slowly think back, you're important to me. everything sad or happy things, first one to find you. you're like my heart, knowing every of my feelings. for my friends, i sometimes do chat and talk with them. cos we're females. easier to chat too. like what you did with rene, sam, your kor. they're your closest le.
you know why i love you so much? more than my friends, family, etc? maybe cos i spend more time with you, you pei me more. though sometimes we cant meet, we still chat and talk. these help to build up love. i love you not cos you always pay money for me, buy & spend things on me. im not this kind of person. i love your heart, character, care, the way you teng me. i know you have attitude & sometimes you attitude on me. but i sometimes also will like this. but recently never le. you're different from my ex, and you're good to me. you always say you dont worth to have me, my concern and care for you, BUT it just worht too much for me. and when you said you dont worth to have me, im realy really very sad. being for so long, i start to dare to give and put in more love on you, then in the end you said these. this sentence make me think that you're going to leave me le... im very scared. im having phobia on that sentence.
though we easily quarrel, but my heart still love you so much. dont know why. i seriously cant let you go from my hand off. there are happy memories being with you. though there are sad memories also la :) but they're still important to me. and until now, the sad && happy memories are glued in my heart. after some thinkings, i find out that in my heart, you're placed in the first position. though sometimes i spend time with my friends, unable to sacrifice for you.
i want tell you one thing. sometimes, sacrifice for a person wont help and wont build up the love. when sacrifice, both of them must be happy. if the person who want to sacrifice, he/she was not as happy, then it's not call love le. doing whatever things, both of us must be happy, then no quarrels and sad will happen le. thats why i always ask you you happy? shuang ma? i still have to ask for your decision. all things can be solve. as long as we solve it together, no obstacles can break us apart.
overall, i still have to let you know that
I Love You My Darling
Labels: my heart and soul
