.Thursday, November 29, 2007 ' 6:50 PM Y
& your love is all i ever wanted
Why Why Why like this again :'((
i really dont want. im really very scared le.
i hate that. seriously hate that. but why can't i control me fucking emotion!
i dont want to regret in the end. i dont want to regret doing anything.
sigh... what's actually going wrong here??
how am i going to find the solution?? where is it?? what to do??
i know there's always a better and good solution where both of us will agree in.
but... but... WHAT??
why choose to be like this? WHY WHY??
when think of the future, i know it's gonna be a harsh and hurtful future!!
when you mention about it, i really very sad.
when saying that cant spend time on you or what, i really feel like crying.
haishhhh.......
i really love you very deep! REALLY!
how am i going to buy your trust? your whole heart and emotions?
i know i can't always give up volleyball training and come pei you.
i know after the 2 weeks, there's lesser time to pei you.
i know you want to treasure the present cos of the bad future.
i know and i really know!
but for me, i just cant. to me volleyball means vball.
i know you see me pick balls very kelian. i know they wont appreciATE.
i know my goal is to win next year match, which i've lesser confident le.
i need you to anwei me, which i needed the most!
whatever i made a decision on, or what. the first i'll thought of is YOU!
the first one to flash through my mind!
i also got think of the consequences faced, your sadness, your emotions.
I DID! but i know i stil can't change my attitude or decision.
i had had tried my very best to seperate my schedule in school && you.
yes, i always think that after pei'ed you, then i can an xin go my other things le.
but it seems doesn't work le. i'm not the type of girl you want seriously.
im not the girl who can totally sacrifice for you?!
im not the girl who can give up every single thing cos of stead?!
&& many more.
i now really feeling down le. as the same sentence, i've no one to pei me chat xin shi le. other than you. if no you le, everything is gonna be refresh...
hearing from my brother that my mum said i got boyfriend. i totally sad diao and pekchek.
WHY?? why mummy like this?? even though that's the truth, but at least have some trust on me. i know i did many wrong things to you all. i feel very guilty as a daughter too. seeing you all work so hard, papa come home late, do OT. seeing him the tiring face, im also heart pain. i feel so sorry... who can understand my heart?!!
im really sorry mummy papa. i'll repay one day for you all. will let you all have happy life and not xin ku life. wont let you all work and have relaxing life. I SWEAR TO THE GOD! i wont throw you all away when i grow up!! SWEAR!!
overall,
sorry to laogong && mama papa
